


Der Schnee auf deinem Haupt

by SeeCee



Category: Chronicles of Narnia - All Media Types
Genre: First Time, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-07
Updated: 2015-08-07
Packaged: 2018-04-13 12:41:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4522398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeeCee/pseuds/SeeCee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Peter, Susan and Lucy fell out of the wardrobe. Edmund did not.<br/>Now the three Pevensies have been called back and they find their brother bound by the white witch's curse.<br/>Peter will be the one to break the curse and possibly his own heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Der Schnee auf deinem Haupt

**Author's Note:**

> Did you know it took me over a year to finish the smell of our bedsheets? This one I wrote down in like three months. I'm so amazed by myself right now.  
> Anyway, irrelevant, uhm... you should probably have seen the prince caspian movie because i follow it. Except not in detail, so sometimes you maybe won't know where exactly they are if you've only read the book.  
> Also, I could cry whenever I see the hit number go up or someone left a kudo or bookmarked it or whatever. Or when new works are being posted!! Like the fandom is small as shit, even more so for this ship. but we're not dead, yet! ToT
> 
> one more warning, that's also a spoiler so beware !!!!!!!!
> 
>  
> 
> !!!!!!!! Kind of major character death, depends on how you want to read it. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> I adore all of you, please enjoy.

It's been a year. A whole year since Susan, Lucy and him had stumbled out of the wardrobe and Ed didn't.  
For the first few seconds neither of them had moved, expecting Edmund to fall out on his ass any moment. A witty remark on his lips.  
When they realized their brother wasn't coming, they panicked, yanking the wardrobe open, frantically calling his name, imploring the professor to do something, anything!  
But Edmund did not come.

While Susan and Lucy worried about what to tell their parents, Peter took to camping in front of the wardrobe at all times of the day and night. He barely let the wardrobe out of his sight to eat or sleep. Even Mrs. MacReady refrained from lecturing the boy after he had looked at her, dark circles under his crazed eyes, and told her in an icy voice that he would not leave his brother behind. Ever. Again.

Ultimately, the girls and the professor opted to tell their parents that Edmund had run away one day in the middle of the night. That the professor personally, had taken the train to follow the 'lead' a station manager had given him but it had come to nothing. Their parents were beside themselves. Putting up posters and going to the child services department every Monday morning to hear for news. Of course there never were any.  
No one blamed Peter.

While Susan and Lucy more or less accepted that there was nothing they could do, Peter lost himself in finding a way to return to Narnia, to Edmund. He meticulously explored every suspicious nook and cranny. Every alleyway spotted from the corner of his eyes was followed, every drawer opened and wall touched.  
His sisters were doomed to look helplessly on, for no word of reason or consolation would reach Peter's ear.  
After a while, his frantic forlornness turned into mindless anger. Provoking him to start fights with anyone, who so much as looked at him too long. He longed for the pain of cracking bones and swollen flesh, for the blood in his mouth and in his heart. He longed for anything but the constant feeling of raw desperation sitting deep in the marrow of his bones.

“For heaven's sake, Peter.” Susan grumbles, pulling out a handkerchief to dab on his lip.  
“What was it this time?”  
“He bumped me.”  
“So you hit him?!”  
“No. After he bumped me, he wanted to make me apologize. That's when I hit him.”  
Susan throws Lucy an exasperated look.  
“How long 'till your train arrives?” He asks, sitting down next to Lucy.  
“Ten minutes.” Susan huffs, occupying the seat on Lucy's other side.  
“Ow! Susan don't pinch me!” Lucy exclaims all of a sudden, jumping up.  
“I didn't touch- Ow!” Susan yells. “What did you do that for?”  
Then Peter springs up, his face confused. “Wha- ?”  
“This feels... like Magic.” Lucy almost whispers.  
“Hurry, take each other's hands!” Susan orders.  
Peter takes Lucy's hand and involuntarily grasps for one more.

They open their eyes to golden sand and glittering water.  
“Narnia!” Lucy shrieks, giggling with Susan, wasting no time to get into the water.  
“Edmund.” Peter whispers. Grinning he runs after his sisters, losing some of the heavy clothes on him.

“Where do you suppose we are?” Lucy asks, while they rummage around on the beach, getting their things back together.  
“Where do you think?” Peter asks good-naturedly.  
“Well, I don't remember any ruins in Narnia.”

The children follow the sea, looking for a way up those steep cliffs. After a while they encounter a river flowing into the sea. They go along with it and soon find out that they must be on an island, since they are completely surrounded by water. The river they have been following goes into two separate streams, coming from a forest and then splitting, surrounding the cliffs with the ruins and streaming out into the sea.  
They hold a short break, eating the lunch packs they have in their pockets and discussing their next move. Trying to cross the river or keep walking to find an access towards the ruins. They can't see a way to get safely across the stream and if they could get up the cliffs they have a vantage and hopefully orientation point, as Susan points out.  
As they walk around one more bend they spot a boat, occupied by what look like to be soldiers. They are about to duck down into hiding when they realize what the soldiers are up to. Lucy almost cries out as she sees the bound dwarf about to be dropped into the water.  
“You!” Bellows Peter. “Drop him!”  
The soldiers, frozen in shock by the sudden intrusion, go pale.  
“He said: Drop him!” Susan reiterates, Peter's pocketknife glinting in her hand.  
When they still won't move, she throws it with such precision and strength that it sticks, blade first into the side of the boat.  
The two soldiers scream, throw the dwarf into the water and abandon ship. Peter was already running towards the water before the second soldier's feet hit the river's surface.  
He heaves the dripping dwarf onto the shore where he leaves him to Lucy, who immediately begins to work on freeing his ropes, while Peter wades back into the water to get a hold of the boat.

“Drop. Him?” he hears a furious voice, as he drags the boat ashore.  
“A simple thank you would suffice.” Susan retortes.  
“I think they did a fine job drowning me without your help.”  
Susan looks at him indignantly as Peter joins them.  
“Maybe we should have let them.”  
“Why were they trying to kill you anyway?” Lucy changes the subject.  
“They're Telmarines. It's what they do.”  
“Telmarines? In Narnia?” Susan asks surprised.  
“Where have you been for the last few hundred years?”  
“It's a bit of a long story.” Lucy grins cheekily.  
The dwarf regards each of them for a moment. Before asking them defeated “You're it? You're the kings and queens of old?”  
Peter outstretches his hand.  
“High king Peter. The magnificent.”  
The dwarf just gives him a raised brow.  
“Probably could have left off the last bit.” Susan jokes.  
“Probably.” The dwarf agrees, before everyone snickers at Peter.

“But, you know, you really don't look like ghosts, at all.”  
“Ghosts?” repeats Susan.  
“And weren't you supposed to be four?”  
The three look at each other, unsure how to answer that question.  
“What exactly do you mean with us being ghosts?” Lucy just asks instead.  
“Well the reason the telmarine soldiers bolted like that by the pure sight of you, was because of the stories being told. That the kings and queens of old are haunting their old castle.”  
“Old castle?” Peter repeats.  
“Cair Paravel!” Lucy explodes.  
“Exactly.” Trumpkin agrees. “Even some of the Narnians swear that they have seen a weary Adamsson roam this place.”  
Peter's breathing stops for a moment. He feels his sisters' eyes on him.  
“Peter, do you think?” Susan begins tentatively.  
“Edmund.” He nods, his head turning towards the ruins of Cair Paravel.

Peter does not look back before sprinting ahead.  
“Hey! Where is he going? We don't have time for sight-seeing right now! I'm supposed to bring you to Prince Caspian right away!”  
“Caspian?” Susan asks distracted, making to follow Peter.  
“Just... tell us while we get up there!” Lucy butts in, getting in motion as well.  
Trumpkin huffs at their backs before getting in step behind them.

Pressing through some underbrush, Peter comes out on a field of apple trees.  
“Edmund!” He yells, still hurrying forward. “Ed!”  
Although in ruins and therefore reduced to the ground floor, the place is still huge and hard to navigate for Peter who can not agree this sight with his memories of how Cair Paravel used to be.  
He slows down now, panting a bit already when his eyes catch something glinting in the grass before him. The girls must be up now, as well, he hears them shouting Edmund's name.  
As he crouches down and grips the small, golden figure in his hand, he realizes it to be a chess figure. The rider, one of his ruby eyes missing. He clutches it tighter.  
“Peter...?”  
His head whips around so fast he almost can't even locate where the voice came from.  
But there he stands, coming out behind some debris and halting a few feet before Peter.  
Edmund.

Except he still looks like the day they left Narnia. Only without his crown.  
“Edmund?” That is Lucy. “Oh, Edmund!” She runs right up to him and hugs him tight, her face barely reaching his chest. But his arms close around her, regardless. When she loosens her embrace, not letting go of him entirely though, she looks up at his face.  
“I really missed you.”  
“I missed you, too.” He says, looking up at Peter and then over his shoulder where Susan emerges around a corner.  
She is speechless for a moment, like Peter still is, but then swiftly makes her way up to embrace her brother, as well.  
“Susan.” He smiles into her hair. Peter sees her wipe away a tear when she lets go of him again. Asking him silently if he's alright. He gives her a reassuring smile.  
Peter doesn't know why he can't move his feet.

“Why do you look like this anyway?” Lucy asks suddenly.  
Edmund looks himself down as if he hasn't noticed his appearance until now.  
“And why didn't you leave Narnia with us?”  
His eyes grow sad.  
“Because I couldn't.”  
Susan grasps his hand. He looks at her with a weak smile, squeezing it. Then he looks at Lucy and Peter, as well.  
“I don't know for sure but I believe it has something to do with Jadis. Either the spell she had me under or her spear she had rammed into me or maybe something else that happened during the time I was with her. I could never figure it out properly.”  
“So you're bound in Narnia?” Susan asks.  
“It seems so. And I don't age.”  
“But you did back then! Together with us.” Lucy exclaims.  
“Yes, although, I believe I did that unconsciously because, you see...” And with that Edmund's appearance morphs smaller until he is only a little bit taller than Lucy. The three siblings give a shocked gasp and when Edmund opens his eyes again he laughs a bit.  
“Oh boy, that's maybe a bit too young. Hold on.” And again Edmund's body transforms. This time into the fifteen year old Peter has somehow expected to find instead of a grown man.  
“There, that's better.” He says, ruffling Lucy's hair. The three of them laugh.  
Now Peter finally comes closer. Their eyes lingering on each other.  
“Here.” Peter says, holding out the chess figure to Edmund.  
“Thank you.” He smiles.  
Peter wants to seize him by the hand.  
“Edmund, what happened here?” Susan inquires then.  
“Telmarines. They attacked. A long time ago.” His expression becomes stern, he turns away, walking towards some higher ground.  
“Why didn't you call us?”  
“I did. But no help would come. Not for me.”  
Susan, Peter and Lucy exchange glances.  
“Come on, there's something here that's yours.”

He brings them to a brittle looking door which Peter not so gently proceeds to open. He is about to assemble a torch from his shirt when Edmund intervenes.  
“There's sunlight streaming in from everywhere, if you carefully follow the first twenty steps or so, you'll see well enough.”  
The girls go in first, Lucy asking where Susan has left Trumpkin and she replies that he'd rather feast himself on apples than wanting to look at dusty, old ruins. They giggle.  
As Edmund makes to follow his sisters, Peter holds him back. Before Edmund has time to properly turn around Peter has already engulfed him in his arms.  
Holding him tight he whispers in his ear.  
“I've never stopped looking for you. Not one second.”  
Peter is already about to let go when he hears a hitch in Edmund's breathing and his brother's hands fist into his shirt.  
He renews the strength of the embrace, slowly grasping that there is a lot Edmund has still to tell them and few of it cheerful.

The moment he takes Rhindon back into his hand, Peter is flooded with memories and strength and courage. The same glow encircling his two sisters. When Susan finds her horn missing, she turns to Edmund who tells her  
“I'm sorry. It was taken.”  
“The Telmarines?”  
“No.”  
She does not inquire further.  
“How come all of these things are still here?” Lucy wonders.  
“They could destroy our home but I would not allow them to take our things.”

As they ascend back up Edmund asks his first questions.  
“Why are you here now, anyway? Who called you? Aslan?”  
“We don't really know yet, either. But we met a dwarf, Trumpkin, he said something about a Prince Caspian?” Susan replies.  
“Caspian?”  
“You know him?”  
“I know that the telmarine kings used to be named like that. But I have not kept up with the events. The days are all so alike and things don't seem to change at all, you only notice how much time has passed when you look back on it.”  
“Haven't you stayed in touch at all with the Narnians? Even if you're immortal, you're still their king after all.”  
“Narnians aren't how they used to be anymore, either. Let's go find that dwarf of yours and figure out what's been going on then.”

Trumpkin doesn't acknowledge Edmund's arrival with much more than an 'Is that it now? Can we please get on with the quest? Never mind, it's getting dark already, might as well stay the night here.' Which makes all of them snicker a bit until Trumpkin shoos them off to gather some wood and food if they can find anything other than apples up here.  
Once they're all seated around a campfire and munching on sadly nothing but apples, Trumpkin tells them all about Caspian's life story and that Miraz and his men are now planning on killing every Narnian that's left. They have to hurry to get to Aslan's How and save the day!

That night Peter sleeps intermittently. Waking up several times with a stocked breath, listening for his brother's breathing, looking out for his prone silhouette on the floor. Letting out a gust of relief when he reassures himself of Edmund's presence and then lowering his head again, trying to reach a deeper sleep.  
If only he'd know it won't be much different once he is actually awake. But in his defense, he really can't help himself.

While they are riding in the boat, Peter rowing, he hasn't much too look at besides Edmund, steering in front of him. He likes to think he is subtle about it, at least. Edmund only catches him looking twice and always gives him a warm smile before looking up ahead again.  
Peter wishes every time that he wouldn't look away.  
As they leave the boat to hike through the woods, Peter leads the way without looking back at Edmund more than four times, after all.  
At Fort Beruna he just grabs the person nearest to him, to press them down behind the logs. It just so happens to be Edmund he is pressing to his side, their faces centimeters apart as Edmund says something and Peter turns to look at him.  
At the place where Lucy swears to have seen Aslan and then promptly falls down a crevice, he just instinctively grabs for his brother's hand to steady his descend. It is dangerous and easy to slip, after all. He sees Susan's amused grin over Edmund's shoulder. He rather concentrates on helping Edmund over the stream then. Of course as unobtrusively as possible.

Once they are a good way away from the river Lucy flings herself to the floor, declaring not to walk a single step further. Not even Trumpkin protests.  
Peter feels bone tired but he can't find sleep. He's been as close to Edmund the whole day as he had wished for the past year. And longer before that. He can close his eyes and recall how the wind swept through Edmund's dark mop of hair, the way his clothes stretched over his back, how the corners of his eyes crinkled when he smiled, his smile... oh god that smile, pulling at those soft lips. Peter dreams of spending entire hours tracing every feature of Edmund's face with his fingers... his mouth...  
And yet, there is a distance between them, something he believes to come from Edmund. A sadness, a resignation that creates a cleft between him and his siblings.  
He cranes his neck a bit upwards only to find Edmund staring at him already.  
They look at each other for a moment before Edmund wordlessly gets up and wanders away. Peter follows close behind.

 

The starry night sky helps them find their way among the bushes and trees. They don't say a word the whole time, silently walking side by side. Peter could interlock their hands if he wanted to. Which he does but doesn't. Edmund stops some way in front of a smaller stream. There is a big rock onto which Edmund seats himself and Peter merely leans against. They both look up into the stars.  
“Our parents are gonna freak out, when you'll come back.”  
“I don't even remember having parents.” Edmund replies after a slight pause.  
“I forgot Susan's face and Lucy's voice. I even forgot your smell.”  
Peter is staring at Edmund now.  
“What happened here, Edmund? What happened with you?”  
Edmund keeps staring ahead, a vacant look in his eyes.  
“Why didn't you stay with the Narnians?”  
“Because I had no right to.”  
“What do you mean?”  
Edmund inches closer to him, taking Peter's hand in his own and leaning his head on Peter's shoulder.  
“You'll see when we reach them.”  
Peter feels lost and helpless in the face of Edmund's resigned sobriety. But his heart rate picks up regardless. From the corner of his eye he sees the dark mop of hair that is so dear to him. The fine line of his nose and the shape of his lips, soft and sad.  
He prays to Aslan that he will never have to let go of that hand.  
“You're cold.” He says instead.  
“Stay close then.”

Peter wakes up to a soft voice calling him from his slumber and a gentle hand stroking the hair out of his eyes.  
His hand comes up to hold the one stroking him, smiling sleepily.  
“Time to get moving, already?”  
Edmund's hand is a bit more rigid under Peter's now.  
“Lucy's gone.”  
Peter gets up immediately.

He sees the minotaur before Lucy. Peter puts a hand over her mouth and seizes her back toward himself and then behind him to Edmund. He doesn't even plan to attack the giant creature when Caspian jumps onto him with a raised sword. Their fight isn't exactly brutal but definitely dirty. Caspian proves to be a sly opponent so Peter doesn't even think about whether he should pick up that stone or not, he just does. And he would strike it down on Caspian's head if Edmund didn't suddenly stand between them. A fierce glare pointed at Peter, shielding Caspian with his body.  
Lucy and Susan come out now, as well. Peter lowers his hand as Edmund turns around to brush some dirt off of Caspian's shoulder.  
“Forgive my brother, he tends to be a bit hot-headed at times.”  
Caspian just moves his head slightly from left to right, looking a bit transfixed at Edmund.  
“I'm guessing you are Prince Caspian?” Edmund continues.  
“Caspian the tenth.” He confirms, giving a little curtsey. “And you are?”  
“Edmund.” He outstretches his hand. “My brother Peter and my sisters Susan and Lucy.”  
Caspian shakes the hand and looks at each of them, respectively. Then it dawns on him.  
“You're the kings and queens of old.” He almost whispers.  
Now Peter steps forward.  
“I believe you called.”  
“Yes, but I... expected you to be older.”  
“We could come back in a few years, if you like.”  
“No!” He says hastily. His eyes trained on Edmund. “I am so glad that you are finally here.”

After a warrior mouse named Reepicheep brings them up to date they continue marching towards Aslan's How. Caspian in the front talking animatedly with Edmund, while Peter is a few feet behind, conversing with the centaur in charge of the army. He tries his best to concentrate on what information he is given but he can't help squinting at Caspian whenever one of his hands touch Edmund's shoulder or arm or once even his cheek. Did that guy have no concept of personal space?  
Even at dinner that evening Caspian sits down by Edmund's side. Without invitation, if Peter might add. And since Lucy occupies Edmund's other side, Peter contents himself with sitting opposite from him. He is talking with Reepicheep when he overhears Caspian saying  
“You must have a very beautiful mother.”  
“How do you mean?” Edmund asks a little bewildered but still smiling amused.  
“Well, it is known that the strength of a child is passed on by the father but the beauty... the beauty comes from the mother.”  
“Oh?” Edmund only smiles. Peter rolls his eyes as he takes a large gulp of his wine.  
“So your mother must be exceptionally beautiful if she has a son such as yourself.”  
Peter splutters all of his wine over poor Reepicheep, who is so surprised by the sudden onslaught of liquid that he draws his sword, spewing demands for a death battle. Peter hastily apologizes, trying to help Reepicheep dry himself. He catches a glimpse of Edmund's inquisitively raised eyebrow before he leans in close to Caspian again.  
And even in the next few days while everyone settles in at Aslan's How it seems to Peter that whenever he is looking for Edmund he would inevitably find Caspian right at his heels. Sitting by his side at every meal, touching him at any opportunity and even gifting him an, admittedly beautiful, blue flower he claims to have found on one of their training grounds. Edmund blushes and thanks him sweetly. Touching his hand for a moment and even letting Caspian fasten the flower into his hair.  
This Prince Caspian seriously starts to piss Peter off.

And then there is this other thing. Susan and Lucy noticed it, too, although none of them can point their finger on what exactly it is that seems to stand between Edmund and the Narnians.  
There is at all times a visible, physical distance between them. Whether during meetings or meals or any other occasion. They have yet to witness that either Edmund or the Narnians address the other directly. It's almost as if Edmund doesn't exist for the Narnians, if it weren't for the dark, suspicious glances they would throw at his back and the whispers starting whenever he passes them. Edmund himself bears all of this stoically and regal.

“Trufflehunter, do you know why the others avoid Edmund so much?”  
Lucy asks one late evening with everyone cleared out and Edmund with Caspian out on the How top.  
Peter silently counted the minutes before he could go check up on them without looking too obvious about it. But now he may finally get some answers.  
Although Trufflehunter seems for once at a loss for words. He sighs then.

“Well, you see, your bother he's... he's a traitor.”  
“How dare you!” Peter's voice is thunder and the badger shrieks back.  
“Peter!” Susan gets up, a demand for countenance in her voice.  
“Those allegations were cleared up a long time ago!” Peter is still furious but he lets himself be guided back by Susan.  
“Aslan himself condoned him, Trufflehunter.” Lucy explains upset.  
“That is part of the lore, yes, but what was passed on is that is was only a trick tha-”  
“You!”  
“Enough with this now, Peter!” Susan bellows. “Sit down and just let him tell us the story.”  
Peter's eyes are still stormy, trained on Trufflehunter but he keeps quiet.  
“Go on.” Susan encourages him. “Please.”  
He gives one last wary gaze to Peter before clearing his throat and continuing.  
“You have to understand that after all these years of hardship and deprivation it is hard for all of us to simply forget who is responsible for things getting like this in the first place.”  
“But why is Edmund responsible for all of this?” Lucy quickly throws in, glancing at Peter's clenched fists.  
“Well, what would you have thought if four of you leave for the woods and only one comes back? A known, former traitor at that?” Trufflehunter asks with a careful gaze at Peter. But the siblings give no answer, they are all looking at the floor, troubled sadness in their expressions.  
“I studied the records passed on through the generations and when he came back to the castle, panicked and distressed, he was at first believed to have suffered an accident. Poisoned or worse! He was mindlessly babbling and trying to raise hell. The beavers had to be brought to calm him down. When the steeds were questioned the situation did not become any clearer. They stated that King Edmund came back without his royal siblings in a great manner of distress. They tried to persuade him to wait for the others or go searching for them themselves but your brother hounded them home. Only saying over and over that you were gone.”  
“Oh Edmund.” Lucy cries out. “He must have been just as scared as we had been then.”  
“After several search parties and inquiries dispatched by the counsel remained fruitless, your majesties were pronounced dead. Your brother as half-insane. He kept talking about a wardrobe he couldn't find. A few Narnians had become more than suspicious of King Edmund at that point. When he then decided to go in search of Aslan himself, many of them left the castle and your brother behind. King Edmund traveled for many decades all over the world and when he finally came back to combat an intrusion of the Telmarines he had not aged a day. There are not many details preserved about those battles except of course for the outcome. And that there had been strange occurrences of witchcraft. The Narnians deserted your brother and the Telmarines wanted nothing to do with magic, so they destroyed your old home instead of occupying it themselves. Your brother became a ghost and the story as most Narnians know it now is this: The traitor Edmund never repented but instead tricked Aslan and our beloved High King Peter and the Queens Susan and Lucy into trusting him again. He enjoyed the privileges his royal status gave him but he secretly waited to usurp the kingdom and rise to power with the witchcraft he received from Jadis. He never ages, he has a heart of snow and he is the traitor that brought on the fall of Narnia's golden age.”  
“But he didn't.” Lucy meekly protests. “Edmund hasn't been a traitor all this time. He was loyal to us! All these years, he protected our hallows. That all these things happened wasn't his fault...”  
“And the Narnians still believe this? Even now that Edmund is here with us? Fighting for them?” Susan asks.  
“I have heard a few voices speculating that he is up to his old trick. Feigning alliance until he has everyone's trust again and then attacking from behind.”  
“He wouldn't!” Lucy counters.  
“Well, it certainly doesn't help that he never speaks to any of us, barely looks at us, really.”  
“He thinks he has no right to.” Peter's eyes are sad. “He believes what everyone else believes, that he is responsible for everything that happened. He won't ask anything of you, order you around or make you look into his eyes because he feels he failed all of you. That he is not worthy to be your King any longer and that Jadis' powers in him are proof of that.”  
“I see.” Even Trufflehunter's ears are dropping now.  
Peter rises then, his fists clenched, making for the exit.  
“Where are you going?” Susan shouts after him.  
“I was an Idiot!” He bites out.

Peter storms up the stone stairs, slowing down immediately, though, when he hears voices. The narrow hallway leading out to the plateau is lit by fire and he can see them sitting on the ledge.  
“My professor always tried to make me memorize the constellations by their real names but it was easier for me to give them my own. See, for example... “ They are sitting close, Edmund's face almost on Caspian's shoulder as he tries to spot the constellation he is pointing out. “... but I always call them minotaur butt.”  
Their shared laughter makes their bodies curl even closer to one another, their faces centimeters apart. Caspian regains his composure first, smiling brightly at Edmund but not moving any further away.  
Peter's boot scrapes on the floor as he takes a step backwards. They both turn around, startled.  
“Peter?” Edmund squints.  
“Yeah.” He clears his throat. “I just wanted to check if everything's alright, you've been up here for quite some time already.”  
“Oh sorry, we were just talking and kinda forgot the time. Everything's quiet, though.”  
Caspian gets up then.  
“Perhaps, it really is time to rest now.”  
Caspian passing Peter, gives him a hard look.  
“Your 'majesty'.”  
Peter reciprocates the gesture. Then he walks over to Edmund.  
“I didn't want to interrupt, sorry.”  
He gives him a funny look.  
“You weren't. We were just talking, that's all.”  
“Hmm.”  
Neither of them feels the need to say anything, just looking up at the stars. Peter can't help but notice how far away Edmund is standing from him.

“Are you okay?” Peter finally asks.  
“What do you mean?”  
“Being here? With us? We just took you along, acting like we're all who we used to be. How we used to be. Like we were never apart. But that's not true. Not for you.”  
“No.” Edmund sighs. “Not for me.”  
He takes a few steps further towards the edge, away from Peter, crossing his arms behind his head.  
“I felt dead. I knew I wasn't, but I felt dead. I spent entire... weeks, I think, lying on the beach being pulled and pushed by the waves. One thousand three hundred years feel as long as it sounds, longer without anyone you love but with a bone deep longing for them. It took me some time but I stopped feeling angry and I stopped being sad and I just became tired.”  
He lets his arms fall down to his sides.  
“But I feel alive now. I feel alive sitting at dinner and joking with Lucy, gossiping with Susan. I feel very alive, whenever Caspian talks to me and smiles.”  
Then he turns around, his eyes meeting Peter's.  
“And I am okay, truly okay, when I look at you and see you looking at me. Many days I missed you, more than I can count. But I survived them all and now you're back. And I am okay.”  
Edmund is close enough now that Peter reaches out and touches Edmund's cheek. They look at each other for a long moment before Peter reels him into a tight hug. Edmund holds him close, too.  
“You're still cold.” Mumbles Peter.  
He feels Edmund's smile on his shoulder.

Peter is pleased when he sees Trufflehunter approaching Edmund at dinner, making earnest efforts at light conversation without being put off by Edmund's rather one worded answers and shifty glances.  
He is not so pleased about Caspian's continued opposition to everything he proposes. Granted, Peter might not be the easiest person to persuade into a different opinion but Caspian surely isn't the most adept at stating his opinions coherent or concise. Yes, Peter is aware how venomous his words are. He sees it in Edmund's quizzical expression. He hates himself for how irritated he is by Caspian but the guy gives him no reason to get more of a hold on himself, so he doesn't try to.  
After finally agreeing on Peter's obviously more sensible plan to attack Miraz' castle and laying down the details, Peter and Caspian share one last disfavored look before everyone disperses.  
Peter sees the hippogryph, who will team up with Edmund for the mission, talk to his brother and wishing for a good team effort to which Edmund shyly nods and agrees.  
Peter is already in motion to get to him when suddenly Caspian stands in front of Edmund. Peter halts.  
“Are you sure you wish to participate on the mission?”  
“Of course. It's my duty as a... King.”  
“I just... I fear it to be too dangerous.”  
“But that is precisely the reason why I couldn't leave this task to any one else!”  
Caspian smiles then.  
“I am not surprised by your bravery. But swear to me “ He takes Edmund's hands in his own. “You will be careful.”  
Edmund looks at their joined hands for a moment before renewing their grip and, hiding a smile under his lashes, looks into his face.  
“I promise.”  
Peter walks away.

Of course everything goes pear-shaped during the invasion. Dozens of Narnians are trapped behind the gate and Peter just jumps over the already rising bridge, helplessness and bitterness clear in his features.  
Then he hears Susan shouting Edmund's name. As he looks up into the night sky he barely sees a shape, supposedly Edmund, jumping from the back of a hippogryph onto the castle mound and then disappearing. The bridge is by now completely hoisted up and none of them can see what is going on.  
The hippogryph narrowly escapes a bunch of flying arrows as he departs into the air and towards Peter and the others.  
Caspian and Susan are still calling for Edmund. But still as all at once the gate seems to become coated by a layer of ice. There were other sounds of distinctly scared human shouts and the renewed vigor of the Narnians.  
As soon as Edmund's hippogryph comes near them, Peter waves his hand at him.  
“What are you doing? Get back and get Edmund!”  
The hippogryph seems out of breath, not daring to land, though.  
“He commanded me to drop him there, sire.”  
“What was he thinking?” Susan asks desperately.  
“Please, just go and get him! Now!” Peter orders again.  
The hippogryph nods once and then turns around, a determined look on his face. All of a sudden, they hear some kind of explosion or gigantic crash and in the next moment the iced gate breaks into smaller pieces that hurl down the raised bridge. The army around Peter steps several inches back. Raising their weapons in anticipation.  
As the sight is clear again they see the trapped Narnians running towards them, a stable sheen of ice substituting the destroyed bridge. Peter can't see Edmund.  
The army that is still outside disperses a bit, to let the returned close into the ranks. Edmund comes out last, supported by a centaur. They cross the bridge, Peter slides from his saddle and gathers Edmund into his arms, Susan right behind them. The ice bridge comes crashing down. Edmund is unconscious.

Peter walks the whole way back on foot, next to Edmund, carried by the centaur.  
“What happened?” Lucy comes running out of the How, worried.  
“Ask him.” Peter's expression darkens.  
“Peter!”  
“Me?”  
“If you had kept to the plan Edmund might be okay right now!” His accusation sharp as a knife.  
“And if we had stayed, like I suggested, he definitely would be!” Caspian returns with as much fervor.  
“You called us! Remember?”  
“My first mistake.”  
“No, your first mistake was thinking you could lead these people.”  
“It was you that abandoned them! Abandoned your own brother!”  
“You invaded Narnia! And don't you dare talk to me about my brother! Like you know anything about us or him!”  
“I knew he was afraid something like this could happen but that he would do it anyway to protect your precious ego!”  
Peter yells with rage, both drawing their swords.  
“Stop it!” shouts Lucy, giving them both a stern look as she runs up to Edmund's body, now lowered carefully on the floor.  
Caspian and Peter hold each other's gaze for a moment before Caspian lowers his weapon and marches inside. Peter carries the still unconscious Edmund inside, Lucy's potion not yet showing any signs of having worked.

Not five minutes go by after they've propped him on a makeshift bed, that Edmund shoots up. Eyes wide, skin icy pale.  
“She's here.”  
When they get to Aslan's stone table they waste no time figuring out what exactly is going on, instead Susan, Trumpkin and him take on the three enemies. Lucy, supporting Edmund, come in behind. Peter defeats his opponent, taking Caspian's place before Jadis. The white witch herself.  
He has no intention of even listening to her but then something tugs at the back of his mind.  
Maybe she knows something about Edmund's condition. They don't even know whether they will ever see Aslan again but she, she is right here. She has to know how to help Edmund.  
So Peter stretches out his hand. And then the ice cracks and Jadis disappears. Instead he looks into Edmund's face, his sword up, a hard look pointed at Peter.  
“She never is the answer.”

Peter has been sitting on the stone table for who knows how long running the same endless circle of thoughts, when Susan and Lucy come to sit next to him. Lucy takes his hand in her's and quietly begins.  
“You love him, don't you?”  
Peter stares at her, tired, but he doesn't answer.  
“Back then, before all of this happened and we still lived in Cair Paravel, we already knew.”  
“Or at least suspected.” Susan interjects. “We wondered when you two would finally confess.”  
“Those days are long gone.”  
“Exactly.” Susan's voice grows serious. “For you it was 'just' this one year and mind, we know how much you suffered but for Edmund it's been hundreds of years and we don't think it's just so easy for him to simply go back to who he was back then.”  
“I know that, okay? But, look, I... I want him either way.”  
“But that's probably not how he feels, Pete.” Lucy replies, sorrow in her voice.  
“What do you mean?”  
“You have a lot going on, so maybe you haven't noticed but he always tries so hard to be the person he thinks we want him to be but... with Caspian he... just seems more carefree, you know?”  
“What are you trying to say?” He gets defensive, taking his hand back.  
“Did you know that he told Caspian of his powers? Even showed him?” Susan discloses.  
“So what?”  
“Except for the day we met him, he never mentioned anything about this to us ever again. It certainly wasn't due to a lack of interest on our part. For some reason it always made him incredibly uncomfortable and we of course didn't want to press but still-”  
“The fact is, Peter, that we don't know if Aslan will ever show up, if we will ever find a way to help Edmund, let alone that we have any clue how long we'll be here this time.”  
“What we're trying to say, Pete, is that Edmund has a shot at happiness here. With Caspian.”  
Just then Caspian comes running around the table.  
“They're here.”

Edmund is already up on the Plateau and Peter makes to stand next to him, falters, stands more to the left instead. Caspian goes close next to Edmund. Peter refuses to check whether their hands are touching.  
“What are we gonna do now, Pete?” Edmund asks, not taking his eyes of the telmarine army.  
“Well, ” he smirks. “Time for our famous silver tongue, I'd say.”  
Edmund mirrors his grin.

As soon as Edmund is back, reporting that Miraz accepted, more or less being forced to really, Peter turns to Susan and Lucy, sending them off in search of Aslan. Then he clasps Edmund by the shoulder.  
“Would you help me with my armor?”  
Edmund gives him a warm smile.  
“Of course.”  
Peter's face brightens. They take off, Peter feeling for the first time in days strangely content. Could a simple smile do that to a person?  
“Ah, Peter?” Edmund stops, looking back to where the others are leaving, among them Caspian.  
“I'll be right there, yeah?” He doesn't wait for Peter's response before calling Caspian and jogging up to where he stands.  
Peter walks around a corner but not further. He hears Edmund requesting that Caspian should follow their sisters a few yards behind. Just in case.  
“I don't want to refuse your wish but shouldn't I rather stay here with you? In case Miraz tries to trick you?”  
“That's just it. I fear with you being there he'd be more tempted to seize an opportunity to get rid of you. I just... I don't want you in any close proximity to your uncle. He almost killed you once before.”  
Then Peter doesn't hear anything for a long moment anymore. He takes a peek. Caspian looks deeply into Edmund's eyes.  
“I better hurry and follow your sisters then.”  
“Thank you.”  
They part. Peter narrowly avoids either of them catching him disappear behind the corner. He hears Edmund's steps and gets in motion again, as well.  
“Edmund!”  
Ugh, what now? Peter thinks annoyed but he still can't help himself but to glimpse back at them.  
He just catches Caspian walking swiftly over to Edmund, placing his hands in his brother's hair and kissing him.  
Peter hurries away.

He has half of his armor on him by the time Edmund manages to show up. Peter doesn't ask what has taken him so long and he doesn't look at his face. He does not care to see rosy cheeks and red, swollen lips, rumpled hair. His brother's slightly labored breathing tells him more than he wants to know. He half wishes Edmund would just leave, Peter should be concentrating on the fight that lay ahead, after all. He would rather have him leave then risking losing his control completely. Losing his control and pushing Edmund up a wall, ravaging every inch of him until he has destroyed even the last thought of Caspian in his brother's mind.  
Peter is screwing up his eyes. He feels drained.  
Suddenly, he senses Edmund taking his hand, the other touching his forehead. He opens his eyes. Edmund is unbearably close.  
“I know it's probably impossible but try to relax until it actually happens, okay?”  
Peter can't help but focus on his brother's lips, he can't remember ever having wanted to taste something this badly.  
Edmund's hand slips from his face.  
“He may look old but I'm afraid he's strong, yet.”  
“It'll be okay.” Peter reassures him, squeezing his hand. “As long as you are there.”

Peter fights Miraz with all his might. But as Edmund said, the old man's tough, yet. Then Susan and Caspian return. Without Lucy. He tries to have faith.  
They look after Peter for a moment and then both disappear inside the How. Peter involuntarily keeps a lookout for any touches exchanged between Edmund and Caspian. He finds none.  
By the time he carefully sits down and Edmund comes over to care for his shoulder he already made the decision. What did he have to lose now? Might even numb the pain from the shoulder Edmund is trying to reset. So he tells him.  
“You know, I've always lov- Ah!”  
“What?” Edmund asks right away. He looks like he really didn't mean to interrupt Peter. Like he needs to hear what Peter was going to say.  
Wishful thinking, most likely.  
The Telmarines begin to cheer. Miraz is back on his feet so Peter gets up, as well. He gives Miraz one dirty look but he notices Edmund standing by his side, gazing fixedly into his face.  
This is probably the most serious moment of his life. So he returns the look before stepping back into the arena.  
“I've always loved you.”  
He defeats Miraz.

He takes a deep breath, smiles into the heavens and turns around to face Edmund when he hears “Treachery!” and the next things happen too fast. He can't even properly process what happened as the Telmarine soldiers already storm into battle. There is no time left to get back to Edmund, to touch him one last time before he's forced to order his own army to charge.  
The battle is bloody and exhausting and despite how hard Peter is trying to keep an eye on Edmund and Susan they get inevitably separated. Peter is crushing jaws and cutting through flesh left and right but all he can think about is the last time they fought a battle like this and how he was too late to protect his brother. He's decapitating another man when all of a sudden the earth beneath him begins to tremble. Roots whip past him at an impossible speed. The trees are coming back to life!  
He is momentarily stunned thanking Aslan when he hears “Peter!” He swirls around just in time to witness Edmund jumping onto a telmarine, he hadn't noticed. Edmund tackles the guy to the ground, finishes him off.  
Peter grabs Edmund's hand and pulls him upright again. He's trying to say thank you, instead he gets his arms full of Edmund, pressing his lips to Peter's. Peter has no idea how he deserves this but he almost lets go of Rhindon in his hurry to clasp his arms tighter around Edmund. Reciprocating as ecstatic as his injuries allow.  
“You can be such a thick idiot sometimes!” Edmund has to shout over the noise of the battlefield. Peter nods vigorously, his eyes full of wonder and Edmund kisses him again.  
“Such an idiot.” He mumbles. His cheeks red and eyes glinting as he rests their foreheads together for a moment.  
“Is this really the time you two?!” They hear Susan. They grin at each other for a moment before heading back into battle. Shoulder to shoulder. 

After the water spirit takes care of the rest, the three older Pevensies kneel, alongside Caspian, in front of Aslan. Underneath the enormous euphoria spreading in his body, Peter feels a twinge in his stomach. This is not the happy end, yet. When Aslan tells them to rise, Peter notices Edmund hesitate for a second before getting up. Caspian staying put completely.  
Edmund gives Caspian a quick glance when they move apart. Peter snatches his hand as soon as Edmund stands next to him. After Aslan is finished with Caspian and Trumpkin, Peter lets go of Edmund's hand and steps forward.  
“Aslan, there is something we need to talk to you about.”  
“I know, Peter, and we will but first let us deal with everything else.”  
“But- ” Edmund's hand rushes forward, holding Peter back. Peter looks back at him, the dread and anxiety surely showing but Edmund looks calm and reassuring back at him. Peter understands. Edmund has already waited 1300 years, what are a few more hours to him?

Peter says scarcely anything else for the remainder of the day. As soon as they find a place for the night, he is out like a light, sleeping far into the next day. It is past noon now and he just finished breakfast when Lucy comes in telling them Aslan wants to see them now. The girls immediately offer to let them go by themselves but Edmund declines. He wants them by his side. The three hug for a long time.

“Edmund cannot leave Narnia.”  
“I know, child.”  
Nobody says anything. Aslan looks closely at Edmund who tries his hardest to hold that all penetrating gaze.  
“It is Jadis' doing. You've met her again haven't you?”  
“Yes, I almost freed her.” Peter admits immediately.  
“So you know that she still lives in one form or another in this world. And as long as she does, her curse in Edmund will, as well.”  
Peter hears Lucy gasp, his own hands forming fists.  
“I thought I had prevented this from happening when I took your place at the stone table. I have failed you. Forgive me.” Aslan looks as if he's about to spill a tear, his head dropped in grief. Peter knows how he feels.  
Edmund steps forward.  
“You didn't. Please, Aslan, none of this is your fault. I've done all of this to myself.”  
“The only way to save Edmund then is to get rid of the white witch completely?” Lucy presses on.  
“But how? We don't know if she's a ghost or... something else. Where would we even find her?” Susan questions.  
Aslan gives Edmund a sorrowful look.  
“Inside of your brother.”  
“What?” Peter bursts out.  
“My dear child ” he's still speaking to Edmund. “I know understand you have been calling for me all these years. But I have been far away and all that reached me was a resemblance of old, dark magic coupled with rage and later sadness. I mistook you for Jadis herself.”  
Edmund stands as unmoving as a stone.  
“She has lodged herself deep inside of you where not even I can reach her without damaging you.”  
“But... what are we supposed to do now, Aslan? Can Edmund never come back with us?” Lucy asks, close to tears.  
Unsettled by Aslan's silence, Peter puffs up his chest.  
“It is decided then. We'll just stay, as well.”  
“Peter...” Susan says defeated.  
“Aslan?” Edmund inquires.  
“I am sorry, Edmund.”  
Lucy begins to cry in earnest now, Susan not far behind. Peter looks at all of their resigned faces. He feels ice-cold anger... and then defeat when Aslan catches his eye.  
“Is there nothing we can do?” He asks almost voiceless.  
“There is.” Edmund replies, moving his eyes up to Peter's face.  
“Kill me.”

Peter's head is spinning. He has been tossing in this bed for the last few hours. He had almost slapped Edmund when he had made that demand of Peter. How could he expect him to hurt him, kill him when they just got each other back? And saying it like that, like there's no other choice... stupid! No way is he gonna kill his own brother! But then... Aslan conceded that this is the only way he sees, as well. That there is a chance that Edmund will wake up in England. But he could not guarantee it, has never known it happening. Could Peter take that chance? How slim it might be? He knows the others are but in the end it is him that actually has to do it. To kill him. Ending up with the lifeless body in his arms. And what if they get back and Edmund isn't there? Then the last memory of this place would be Edmund's dead eyes. And how could he go on then? Even in England. Knowing then for sure that he'll never see his brother again. And that that happened by his own hand.  
Edmund could live. Here, he could at least live and he wouldn't be alone. Peter would do whatever it took to make Aslan let him stay and if there really was no way, he'd have Caspian, at least. He wouldn't have to live in solitude then. Shunned and lonely.

Peter is on his back, his hand sifting through his hair. He is tired of his thoughts running in circles but he just can't find rest. Then his door creaks open. Peter keeps stock still. A figure enters the room, closes the door and advances to his bed.  
“Pete?” Edmund.  
“Yeah.”  
He automatically scoots over, pulling the covers aside and then engulfing Edmund with them as soon as he's settled in.  
“Can't sleep?” He asks. They're facing each other. Edmund grabbing for his hands.  
“Neither can you, apparently.” Edmund is playing with his fingers while they both listen to the night.  
“Ed, I can'-”  
“I am afraid, too.” He interrupts. “Of dying. Of dying and not waking up. Hurting you like that and then never being able to comfort you. Of waking up and not remembering anything. Either of Narnia or England. Of not being the same person anymore. All these possibilities scare me.”  
His hands rest their playing with Peter's fingers.  
“But, you know what scares me more? That Aslan said he could feel Jadis in me more than he could feel me. I'm scared of becoming her.”  
“You would never.”  
“How do you know?”  
“Because it was you who broke the barrier of ice, who saved me from making the mistake of giving in to her.”  
“I wanted you to, though. I wanted you to give in. I wanted to do it myself.”  
“But you didn't. You were stronger than her.”  
“But how much longer, Peter? It's a risk I'm not willing to take.”  
“So instead you're willing to risk the possibility of death?” He knows he sounds bitter.  
“Don't you see? I would die either way.” He grips Peter's hands tighter. “Except that one death could mean I get to wake up and be with the person I love. Wholly myself. So, please. Kill me, Peter.”

He kisses him instead. Hungry and desperate. Clenching his hands in Edmund's dark hair. Swooping the covers aside to move on top of him. Parting his legs to press himself on Edmund.  
Edmund who gasps, breaks the kiss to moan Peter's name, busy sucking kisses into Edmund's neck. Peter's hands snake under Edmund's shirt, making his nipples go instantly hard, rubbing his dick harder on Edmund's.  
They're both breathing harder already when Peter stops moving for a second, pressing his face at the nape of Edmund's throat. Edmund has one hand in Peter's hair, the other lying on his shoulder. Peter moves his head up to look into his eyes.  
“You're still so cold.” He mumbles.  
“Warm me up then.”  
Peter leans forward, presses a kiss to Edmund's lips. They both keep their eyes open, regarding each other for a moment before breaking the kiss again. They take each other's shirts off then, spending endless seconds roaming over every inch of exposed skin.  
Peter guides Edmund's hips up to pull his pants down. There is no contact for a second with Edmund completely bare in front of his brother, his figure only illuminated by the moonlight.  
Peter lets his right index finger come down in the middle of Edmund's chest. Then he puts his whole palm down. He holds it there.  
“I can feel your heart beat.”  
Edmund's left hand pulls Peter closer, his right mirroring Peter's on his brother's chest. They stay like this for a moment. Reassuring themselves of each other's presence.  
Peter's left hand joins his right then, they slowly move down along Edmund's chest. Stopping right before the end of his ribcage. His right thumb stroking over one part of skin specifically.  
“This is were Jadis almost killed you.” He leans down placing a soft kiss there. He feels Edmund's hands in his hair.  
Peter's hands move lower over the tips of his hips, his mouth slowly following. He rests his forehead right below his navel. Edmund does a sharp intake as Peter moves his hands past his groin and down his thighs. And he can smell him now. Hard and ready. He looks up at Edmund with a wolfish grin.  
“And then there's this.”  
In the dim light Edmund's eyes seem wholly black, he's breathing through his nose and the grip in Peter's hair tightens.  
He leans his head back down, his hands ghosting from Edmund's knees back up along the inside of his thighs. The closer Peter comes to his dick, the wider Edmund is spreading his legs. Peter stops at the last moment, placing a kiss on his inner thigh and sitting back up. Edmund whines.  
“Tell me what you want.” He says, his hands not touching Edmund.  
“Peter.” He whimpers. “You. I want you.”  
“Where?” He teases.  
Edmund makes a frustrated noise, lifting his hips up but Peter only smirks at him. Edmund's own hand shoots up then, making for his dick but Peter grabs it midair. He inches a bit forwards on his knees, pushing Edmund's legs further past him, until he can press Edmund's sneaky hand to his own junk.  
“This what you want?”  
“Yes, Peter. Yes, please.”  
He holds Edmund's hand in a vice grip, rubbing himself on it. His breathing gets heavier.  
Looking into Edmund's heated eyes, he has mercy at last. His free hand closing around Edmund's dick. Edmund groans loudly, pressing the side of his face into the pillows. He recovers a moment later, starts rubbing Peter's cock now on his own accord, simultaneously trying to pull down Peter's pants with his free hand.  
Peter leans forward, trying to kiss Edmund but it's harder without their hands steadying them. As soon as Peter is rid of his pants, his hands shoot up to Edmund's face to kiss him properly. Their bare cocks sliding and pressing onto each other. The sensation is so intense they can't help breaking the kiss and instead moan into each other's skin.  
“More, Peter.”  
“Yeah.”  
Peter's hand snakes down between their bodies to grab them both but the angle is awkward and he can't really move.  
“Here, let me.” Edmund pants. And with that he hooks his right leg over Peter's hip and flips them over.  
He straddles Peter firmly and grabs their dicks himself. This new position is much more pleasant and Edmund throws his head back in bliss. The arch of his throat a long line. He's rutting into his own hand, Peter can feel Edmund's balls slide over his thigh. His own hands come up to hold onto Edmund's hips.  
“You're so fucking beautiful.”  
Edmund's head is propped up on his shoulder, his eyes focusing on Peter. He's panting hard. With the next flick of his wrist Edmund is stuttering out a particularly forceful moan.  
“Don't come.” Peter slows down Edmund's movement. His right hand disappearing behind Edmund's back, touching him between his asscheeks.  
“I'm not done with you, yet.”  
A moment passes, both their breathing labored.  
“Do it.” He finally says. Peter flips them over again.

He parts Edmund's legs a bit further, rubbing a dry hand over his entrance.  
“I've got nothing to ease the way, though.”  
“Give me your hand.” Edmund seizes Peter's outstretched hand and begins licking and sucking on his index and middle finger.  
“Fucking hell.” Edmund gives him a lewd look before releasing Peter's hand.  
“Try it like this.” Peter leans forward to give Edmund a quick peck.  
“Tell me if it hurts.”  
With this he slowly starts prodding Edmund's hole, trying to make it give way. The first finger goes in slowly but manageable. However, simply attempting to press two fingers in at the same time proves to be a tight fit, already.  
“Relax a bit more, Ed.”  
“Trying.” He breathes through gritted teeth.  
“How about I help you think of something else.” Peter smirks.  
Before Edmund can even ask what he means, has Peter's head already disappeared between his thighs. Edmund gasps loudly as Peter takes him into his mouth as far as he could go, simultaneously forcing two fingers into his hole.  
It doesn't take long from there on until Edmund's fingers wind themselves into Peter's hair again and he is reduced to a squirming, babbling mess.  
“Now, Peter, please do it now. Put it in, I'm gonna come.”  
Peter releases Edmund's cock, taking a calming breaths.  
“Okay.” He pulls his fingers from Edmund's hole. Peter looks at his sweaty face and strokes the dark hair from his forehead.  
“I love you so much.”  
Edmund takes Peter's hand and presses a kiss and a smile into his palm.  
“Me too.”  
Peter then hooks Edmund's right leg onto his shoulder, grabs the head of his dick and lines it up. Neither of them take their eyes off of this scene until Edmund is forced to squeeze his eyes shut. His hands grabbing fistfuls of sheet. Peter notices Edmund's discomfort but they've come too far to stop at this moment. And it feels so good. So fucking good. Edmund certainly doesn't feel cold in there.  
As he is a little more than halfway inside Peter lets go of his dick, steadies himself with one arm next to Edmund's head and the other grabbing the back of Edmund's thigh. Edmund's ankle already slid off his shoulder by that point.  
“Can I move?” Edmund's eyes and mouth are completely squeezed shut but he nods once.  
Peter begins tentatively to move, pressing at first a bit more inside but when Edmund's brow furrows even deeper, he stills again.  
“Sorry, sorry, let me- ” So he tries pulling a bit out again but that makes Edmund's thighs clamp tight around Peter.  
Peter is kind of at a loss now and he looks helplessly at his brother, not daring to move an inch.  
“Ed?”  
“Kiss me.” He pushes out, too fast.  
“What? I didn- ”  
“Just kiss me.” He repeats. Edmund opens his eyes minimally to look at Peter.  
“I always forget everything else when you kiss me.”  
Peter smiles fondly at him before coming down on Edmund. At first he just ghosts his lips over Edmund's until he feels his brother's open in protest, then he descends, pressing a long and caring kiss to Edmund's mouth. When he opens his eyes again Edmund's are still closed but no longer in pain and discomfort.  
“More.” He demands. Peter smiles and complies. With the kiss deepening he simultaneously pushes his cock deeper as well. When he feels Edmund's face scrunch up again he gives an excusing lick with his tongue or a nudge to his nose and a kiss to the corner of his eye.  
Gradually Peter can move inside of him easier than just these first abortive half thrusts. The hands that clawed their way into whatever they could reach of Peter begin to loosen their hold, as well. Peter breaks their last kiss languidly.  
“I want to move harder now, okay?”  
“Okay.”  
And Peter does just that. At first closely keeping an eye on Edmund's facial reactions but as soon as he sees Edmund throw his head back again, exposing that graceful line, he starts to move with abandon.  
Slamming into Edmund's hips and against the hand that Edmund has curled around his own dick, now fully come back to life.  
They're both so close to the edge that every single nerve ending might as well be on fire. Edmund comes shouting Peter's name, contracting his whole body. Peter comes seconds behind. Thrusting slow and deep, riding out his orgasm.

Peter lets himself fall to the side, their heads so close together, their hair strands are intersecting. Both their breathing is still going strong. Peter looks over at Edmund, who has his eyes closed.  
“You're not gonna do that with Caspian, are you?”  
Peter catches a twitch at the corner of Edmund's mouth before he gets smothered by a pillow. Then he feels Edmund climbing on top of him, lifting the pillow from his face and then smashing it right down again.  
“You wanna say that again?” Edmund dares him, his voice bright. Peter muffles something.  
“Huh? Can't hear you.” Edmund answers, pressing the pillow still down. Peter is laughing so hard by now that Edmund puts the cushion away. Peter has tears in his eyes from his cackling, Edmund just shakes his head with a grin and pushes Peter's hands over his head.  
He leans down and presses a long and sensual kiss to Peter's lips.  
“You better didn't mean that seriously.”  
Peter's voice is husky when he answers.  
“No, not that.”  
Then he tackles Edmund and tickles him without mercy.  
“But this!”  
Their laughter shouldn't cease for quite some time that night.

Two weeks later Peter rams Rhindon right through Edmund's heart. He doesn't start crying until Edmund's eyes are closed.  
They go home.

Fin.


End file.
